And so today a new stage begins. Perhaps out of will, perhaps out of necessity, perhaps both…
that morning.

I was tired that day. I sat in my first class and stared at the board, but I wasn’t listening to whoever was standing next to it and talking so damn much. The girl two seats ahead was really cute. I couldn’t focus on anything, so I just sketched the classroom. Except everyone sitting in their seats, I drew as a zombie. Except for the really cute girl. I just drew her how she was. Or rather, how I saw her. When I finished the drawing, I tucked my notebook into my backpack and stared at the board again until class ended.

my head

i can’t get my head straight sometimes. i dont want to do anything sometimes; i’m fighting for time to myself. i want to sit around and smoke and write, but i have to go shovel bullshit every night at a fucking thai restaurant. at least i get free food.

..i’m so tired of basic bitches.

Monogamy is logically impractical.

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Me, I didn’t mean anything. About anything, or to anyone. And I knew that guarenteed me a long, depression-free life.
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i had to do it.

Truth is, after I met you, I thought I finally understood what being in love is. And in a way, I did learn what being in love is through you, but not by actually falling in love. My return home was overwhelmed by thoughts of you and everything I saw you as, and then when I’d close my eyes I would see only photographs of events that had taken place during that week. When I would finally fall asleep at night, being kept awake wishing we lived closer, I would dream of a day when we could be together.

But distance turned out to be okay. I see now that you are the very same person, but that I myself have changed. And we were too young then. There was no way I could have known that I was in love. We are very different people now, and my lifestyle will not accomodate you, just as your’s would not accept me.

I’m okay with everything. I try not to resist life, as resistance to life is inevitably pointless. Maybe we will meet again. Our few visits since have always been fantastic, and I feel like that’s always going to be the case. There will always be a mutual bond between us, regardless of how far apart we grow. I may not have been in love, but I know what that means now, and for that I thank you.